Hangin' With Ma...

I try to get up to NY to see Moms, at least once a month, y'all. She's spent the better part of a year in & out of the hospital & rehab. It's been zero fun for her, as her body betrays her more & more. Particularly her legs. She's unable to walk (something she loves to do) currently, which, for an independent person, is frustrating beyond words.
   When I had come up before, we'd go on our usual movie date, & some shopping (something else she loves to do). We would walk, & talk & laugh, while she'd grab a few things, but primarily things for her great grands & others. Once, she was adamantly insistent upon buying me an XBox,  but I talked her out of it. I've never met or known someone so eager & willing to share, & give, family. Even to those whom are undeserving, & unappreciative,  she has their thoughts, feelings & best wishes at the forefront. I admire that trait. Wish I had it, because once you cross me, you're done, in my eyes. She always tells me that I need to be more forgiving, & Yah knows that I do try, but I've yet to reach her level of forgiveness. Probably never will, at this stage of my life.
   While I don't enjoy the traffic & the horrible parking in Manhattan, I put all of that bloodclaat crying to rest, & remember why I'm there. 
   Once I'm there, & see her face, & her eyes light up with joy, all issues magically disappear. The traffic & parking drama is worth the hassle just to see her smile, & those eyes light up. "Heyyy, BigBoyyy!!!", she exclaims, & a smile & laughter soon follow. I'm very careful about how I hug her these days. She's just so tiny, & me being the strength-unaware lummox that I can be, have to be cognizant of her frailty.
   Since I can't take her out, we can't do our customary movie date. So, we improvise, & binge-watch Law & Order, or some CSI, or Forensic Files. I remember watching TV as a kid with her, & sometimes being mad at her because shows like "Columbo" & "Barnaby Jones" were no match for her deductive skills, & she'd solve the crime, & pick out the perp 15 minutes into the show! "That fool did it.". And you know what? She was always right, dammit! Anyways, she STILL has that ability! Dammit!
   We'll watch. Chit chat. Watch. Comment about her roommate who had the room & corridor smelling like straight-up bison. Reminisce, & laugh. Then, there were times that she'd doze off, & I'd watch over her. Quietly watching TV. Wonder what she would be dreaming about. Watch TV. Then, she would wake up, smile & laugh & apologize for falling asleep on me. "No worries, Ma. You probably needed it. As long as you didn't snore or poot, I'm okay.". She'd laugh, shake her head & call me crazy.
   It's really tough watching her struggle, & I can't even fathom what she's going through. So, my little issues are left in the car, & it's all about her, & bringing positive vibes into her midst.
   I don't know what Yah has planned for her, but whatever the case may be, I'll do my damnedest to make sure that she knows that she's loved. It's hard leaving her there by herself, that tiny lady in a room alone. But I'm then reminded that as long as you have Yah in your life, you're never truly alone.
   So, I pray for, & with Moms, sit with & binge-watch Law & Order, with her, laugh & snooze with her, & fondly reminisce. I can't think of a better way to spend an off day.

Embrace moments with your loved ones, family.
   Tomorrow's promising, NOT promised.

You are loved💞💕