GymAntics...

WhatitDO, family?
   Now that the warm weather seems to be getting ready to hang around for a minute, now's the time, that most people consider to be "beach body weather". Where cats start wearing tanktops, & muscle shirts, or new tattoos, & chicas break out their tubetops, halters, & Daisy Dukes, showing off what they've been hiding all Winter, which now that you mention it, seems like it'd never end! I've never really been that type, and never saw the allure of literally walking around in your undies, getting roasted by the sun. Not knocking anyone, if that's their thing. It's just never been my style. Some heads spend all Winter in the gym, just to be able the floss their bodies, or the changes in their bodies, when the weather permits. Some, a little thirstier to do so, opting to not wait until the weather's steadier, get caught out there wearing Summer gear the first warm day in April, only to get played when the sun goes down, and they see Jack Frost is waiting with his Ice Scepter, to lay some icicles on yo' thirsty ass!
   Anyways, In January, 2018, I made my New Year's Resolution to join a gym. Procrastinated, and fronted, the 1st 2 weeks with the, "I'll do it Monday...start off the week fresh" piss-poor excuse. When that didn't work, the "I ain't got the money" never-fail excuse was implemented, and I reveled in my procrastination by snake-swallowing a box of that demon dessert, Krispy Kreme glazedified doughnuts. Then, as I dizzily attempted to wolf down my 6th joint, I saw a commercial that killed my procrastination, just as the remains of that last doughnut slithered it's way down my gullet.
    "Planet Fitness... $1 down, $10 a month!!!" I said, "Wow! I can swing that!". Then, I realized that the nearest one to me, was in the next city, Wilmington, about 30-45 minutes away. I just couldn't see myself taking that trip on a daily basis. Prepping to quaff down a gallon of root beer, I heard the follow-up, "Now open in DOVER!!!" Dover, is the town that I live in, and the new location is 8 minutes away from my apartment. RAPIDLY running out of excuses. So, I put down the root beer (down my throat, that is), got dressed, and went out to investigate. Smugly armed with my air of procrastination, I questioned the caffeinatedly perky clerk, just what the catch was. Did I have to pay a year in advance upfront, or did I have to pay that "$1 down, $10 a month deal that I saw on TV?" She happily confirmed that it was legitimately a monthly payment. "So, you mean to tell me, if I drop a buck on this desk, I can start working out TO-DAY?". "Yes, sir...TODAY!"
   Needless to say, Yah whispered in my ear, "Out of excuses, son...". So, I dropped the buck, and have been hitting it, at least 4 times a week, ever since. My first day, though...was terrifying. It's been so long since I'd been to a gym of the size that exists at Planet Fitness. The last time was some time in the mid-late '80's, when I used to get guest passes from my boy, the Mighty Bruce Ginyard, at Jack LaLanne's/Bally's up in Riverdale, where some of the hottest hotties, used to roam! I went up in there, timidly, as if mugs KNEW that I was a newbie. I had on some simple sweats, a fleece hoodie (I FULLY intend on getting my sweat on...even if I'm standing nervously in one place....which is what I almost did!), & some old ass New Balances. I came across a disco/fashion scene! Mugs had on color-coordinated, brand-coordinated, custom-fitted, monogrammed, and sanitized for your protection, space workout gear and virtually EVERYONE was on their cellphones! Sitting on the machines, talking, texting, FaceBooking...REALLY??? I didn't know that gyms had dress codes, or that cellphones were an integral part of the workout! "Well..." I thought to myself, "you ain't here for them, or to impress anyone...You're here to save your life!". Once that thought echoed into my head, I jumped into Clubber Lang (Mr. T) mode, "I train alone..I LIVE alone...etc. " donned my mean mug, and went on about the business of getting in shape. Except for one thing...How, in the name of SHIT, do I work these damned contraptions???? Stubbornly, I don't ask any attendants for any tips, #1, because I'm stubborn, & #2,...well.. I'm stubborn! Don't judge me, family. Anyways, luckily, each contraption has a diagram on it, so's cats like me don't jump on it, bravado, balls-to-the-wall, wind up on YouTube, and send their insurance rates up.
   I started feeling a little discouraged, as foolhardedly, I tried to ego-lift. Yeahhhh, big ol' bad-ass KirkyBear, tried to go "Rack City" on each exercise. To quote the immortal Killa Cam'Ron… "Nah, B." Ego readjusted, I opted for a more reasonable weight, and let "Baby Steps, bro..." be my battle cry/mantra.
   Fast forward 5 months later, my strength has increased, my weight is going down, slowly, but surely. Definition is starting to rear it's beautiful head, stamina has increased, back pain has DEcreased, and the always welcome dilemma of clothes becoming comically baggy, are all a part of the welcomed side-effects of saving one's life.
   I work with seniors, and am constantly reminded of what happens when you abuse yourself in your youth. You pay dearly for it, when you get older. Abuse doesn't always have to pertain to narcotics, and alcohol. Cigarettes, improper nutrition, improper sleeping, and sometimes, taking your joints, ligament's, and tendon's lifespans for granted, with improper techniques when exercising, can also be considered abuse. Teaching myself how to throw a baseball ambidextrously, as well as throwing curveball, and sliders incessantly, & reckless football, have damaged my shoulders. Day-long pick-up basketball games, playing through shinsplints, sore Achille's Tendons, and strained arches, have given me eternally sore knees. Had I had proper training, I probably wouldn't have those issues, but it is, what it is, and I'm not complaining, because I'm certain that there are a million people that would happily trade places with my sore ass. My Moms being one of them.
   All that being said, take some time out to take care of yourselves, family. Not just because it looks good, but also because your body, and your heart will appreciate you for it. As I look upon some of the seniors that I work with, I'd often wondered if they had known in their youth, what they know today, would they have taken better care of themselves. I firmly believe that they would have.

I'm not trying to be in that position family, and neither should you. Don't wait until all options are taken out of your hands to decide that you should've loved yourself a little more.

   I love you, Yah loves you...now it's time for YOU to love you.

Make it happen, family...